


LUST BATTLE ROYALE

by Onioncarrotchopper



Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga), Internet Personalities, Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler, Onision - Fandom, To Catch A Predator (TV), Vocaloid
Genre: Based on a Vocaloid Song, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Mutual Pining, Rival Relationship, Satire, What Have I Done, What Was I Thinking?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-18
Updated: 2020-02-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:00:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22783696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Onioncarrotchopper/pseuds/Onioncarrotchopper
Summary: Gregory Jackson AKA Onision is planning his final fight against his old lover Chris Hansen. Will they end up destroying eachother or will they eventually get back together in the end?
Relationships: CHRIS HANSEN X ONISION
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	LUST BATTLE ROYALE

**Author's Note:**

> I am so sorry if you read this. After watching a youtuber I am subscribed to read onision fanfics online, I just had to try and write one. This is all for fun but I hope it is at least decent enough to read. First fanfic I try tow rite and it is for onision lmfao

It is approximately 5:45 A.M. in Auburn, Washington. A black silhouette is soaring through the still dark sky and is on the way to Gregory Jackson's, AKA Onision, AKA Banana boy, AKA I-dismiss-my-own-court-case-boy.  
Greg had sent one of his servants on a very important mission; gather intel from none other than Chris Hansen. It had been many month's since Gregory had been under Hansen's heavy watch. After allegations came out against him,  
it had been nearly impossible to upload videos without receiving hate comments and dislikes that outdid whatever good came his way. Everyone was calling him out on his bullshit. Greg, being a 34 year old greasy nutcase, did what every  
other person would do. Disable comments and continue posting what he believed was quality content, no, god quality content. Greg had been desperate. His patron had already been cancelled and he had little if any source of income. What was he supposed to do, get a job like the rest of society? NO. Not Gregory Jackson. Why would a god stoop so low as to be a slave to major corporations? He had realized that his only way of being free, was to kill Chris Hansen. This man, this so called Pedo Slayer, was the source of all of Greg's problems. He needed to get rid of him and fast. Whatever past they had before was no more. He needed to end this man. This man he once loved with all his body and soul. He opted in sending his right hand to the job. Yes, the only one capable of finding out Chris Hansen's whereabouts. None other than Sebastian Michaelis. He was, indeed, one hell of a butler. If Sebastian failed, then Greg would have no choice but to summon his great grandfather, Chuck Norris. If possible, he wanted to avoid it. He wanted to be the one to end Chris. He didn't want anyone else to have him.

It was almost 7:00 AM, and there was no sign of Sebastian coming back. Greg started biting his nails and prancing around his dirty kitchen. "why the fuck is he taking so long?", Greg scoffed out loud. The butler had told him, "If by 7:30 A.M.  
there is still no sign of me, please assume I am dead." Was it even possible for a human like Chris Hansen to beat Sebastian, a demon? Greg had no clue but he was getting anxious. If Sebastian died, he would have nobody else to aid him.  
All he had was Kai, and since he was crying, he was as useless as Sakura was in Naruto right now. Greg only had himself and a secret weapon he had stolen from the government. He got on his knees and started taking out one of the kitchen's  
tiles out. He had hidden away a weapon. The greatest one that mankind had created until now, the one and only, Vocaloid Hatsune Miku. This robot would be his side companion for a while and help him plan his reckoning against Hansen. Yes, in the end  
it was unavoidable that Greg and Hansen would have to fight. What once began as an incredible and forbidden love affair, was now two rivals trying to best one another. Almost like L and Light in Death Note, except in Greg's eyes, Chris was way more handsome than Light Yagami.

Greg started dragging Miku by her legs. She wasn't awake yet and since his vegetarian body was too flimsy, he could not pick her up. All the vegetarian videos where he spoke all high and mighty against people who ate meat were biting him in the ass right now. He was almost at his front door when he heard Sebastian's voice. "Pardon my delay, Master Onision. It took me a while but at last I finally have the whereabouts of Mr. Hansen." said Sebastian as he came out of the shadows. "Great job,I thought you were a goner." sighed Greg in relief. "So, where is he right now? when would we be able to strike?" asked Greg in a worrying tone. He wanted to finally end things with Chris, but somewhere deep in his heart he wanted to go back to him. He knew this was not possible. Even if he tried to go back, society would never accept it and his sins would never be forgiven.

" Right now Mr. Hansen is on his way to Disneyland in Orlando. I don't know the reasons, but he seemed to be in a hurry. He and his wife were preparing to leave when I left." answered Sebastian. Greg did not respond, so Sebastian looked at Greg and was surprised to see the Onion boy paler than Yuki Yoshida's ghost dick. "Master, is there a problem?" asked Sebastian. "No, I need to rest. Please take care of this woman for the meanwhile. She will be joining us for the battle." said Greg in a very mellow voice.  
Sebastian didn't know why Greg's mood seemed to have worsened, but he did not care enough to ask. He picked up Miku and then dissapeared. After Sebastian was finally gone, Greg took a seat. As soon as his butt cheeks touched the chair, this one gave  
in and he ended up on the floor. "damnit all!", screamed Greg at the top of his lungs. His furniture was so old and musty that it was starting to fall apart. He stayed on the floor and thought, "Chris lied to me.Everything he said must have been a lie then.Silly of me to think that he would never go back to his wife" whispered Onion boy to himself, and then he fell sleep on the floor.

In his dreams, Greg remembered back a few months ago. The unthinkable had happened.Chris had shown up without notice at Greg's house. He had been knocking calmly at Greg's door asking him if he would like to finally give an interview and try to clear things up and maybe defend himself. Greg was not thinking straight and called 911. He ended up being the laughing stock of everyone online. As soon as he told the 911 operator that Chris Hansen was outside of his door , the operator began laughing like crazy. He had been so afraid to meet Chris in person , that he ended up being a clown. Everyone laughing at him on twitter as well as his IRS debt was getting to him. He had no money and was losing his mind. What could he do? and then he thought to himself, " If I give Chris an interview, I can probably make a video and get enough views for my ad revenue to rise. My beans and bread, as well as my pornhub premium membership is riding on this. Even if I meet him , I will not fall for any of his tricks. The next day, Greg contacted Chris. The old man was sitting on his bed, just about to turn off the lights when suddenly his cellphone rang. "who could it be at this hour?" he thought. His id called said unknown. Chris answered and was surprised . "Hi Chris, it's me, Greg. I was thinking that I could give you an interview this weekend if you are free." said Greg. Was this a prank? why was Gregory suddenly calling him? a few months ago he had completely ghosted him and demanded a large sum of money to even give him the time of the day.Greg had even called the cops on him a few days ago, why accept to talk now? Chris realized it must have something to do with money. "why you are doing this?" asked Chris. " Didn't think you would approach me on your own . I am kind of dissapointed that you stopped playing hard to get. It was plenty of fun to chase after you" said Chris in a mocking manner.

Chris couldn't help but tease Gregory. He hated to admit it, but ever since he first saw Gregory's picture in a banana suit, he had unwillingly fallen in love. Those eyes of his had bewitched him. Chris had been trying hard to ignore this growing feeling inside him. Their relationship was only Pedo Slayer and Predator, nothing more and nothing less. It was doomed to fail no matter what. Many nights he dreamed of a different scenario. Maybe in another life he and Greg could be happy together. A world where teenage girls did not exist to entice the pedo inside Gregory's body. That dream of his could never happen in reality. He told himself, "you will arrest him and that will be the end.You will never be able to see him again." He kept beating himself up. Why did Greg have to be a predator? If he hadn't been a criminal, then Chris would have been able to wrap him in his loving embrace.To shower him with love and affection. To show him what true love was. Kai didn't love Greg. If he truly loved him, he would have turned himself in to save Greg's ass. Chris had tried plenty of times to talk with Kai in hopes of saving Gregory from jail but he never succeeded. This continuous fight was taking a toll on Chris' heart. He loved Gregory and yet, he couldn't be with him. Life truly was unfair. He had had many lovers in the past, like that french woman who was the biggest bitch he ever knew. Melinda was her name. Once when he had hurt his back, he had to take a leave from work. She had laughed in his face and said, " well that just means you have done nothing, and then she proceeded to send him a weird japanese emoji. In the end she ended up leaving him for a Japanese man. He then met his now wife years later but even so he couldn't help lusting after Gregory and then falling for him. "So , what do you think? wanna hold the interview?" Gregory's question brought Chris back to the present. He replied, "Sure, I have some free time over the weekend." In that moment it suddenly dawned in on him. He was going to meet Gregory. This was an opportunity he could not waste. Even if just once, he wanted to be close to him without kai or any of the victims around. "Gregory,I have a proposal for you." said Chris. "Oh? I hope it is not one of your cheap tricks. If I see something I don't like, I won't answer your questions." said Greg. "How about we visit Disneyland?" asked Chris. Greg was speechless. Disneyland? what was this old man on about? He didn't understand and so he asked, "Why?". Chris was hesitant. He had gone and let his desire for Gregory cloud his mind and ended up saying something stupid. He needed an excuse and quick, then it came to him." One of the victims we had on the show mentioned that you always behaved like a dumb child when you didn't get your way. What better place to interview you than Disneyland?" he said.

Greg's face grimaced. Hansen always found a way to mock him. He was about to refuse and hang up but then he realized that was a dumb move. This man was going to offer to pay for his flight and more than likely for everything else just  
to be able to interview him. No matter who it is from, free money and food is always good. He had been very stressed and lacking motivation. Maybe Disneyland would be able to bring some joy to his life. He decided he was going to go.  
"Got it, I'm assuming you will pay for the expenses as my income is not good enough to afford such luxuries. If you can't, however, then I must decline." Chris couldn't believe it. Gregory had accepted to go. To Disneyland of all  
places. He couldn't help but to happily reply, "yes, sure! don't worry about that. See you over the weekend, goodbye." Greg sat down on his poo colored sofa. In a few days he was finally going to meet Chris Hansen. He was anxious and  
at the same time he felt something in his chest. Greg had noticed for a long time that Chris was infatuated with him. It had been two month ago when he realized this. He had been receiving calls in the middle of the night. Nobody answered him but somehow he still knew who it was. 

He had been losing patron after patron and his check kept getting smaller, just like his fun sized banana down there. "I will end up being homeless the way things are going." he muttered to himself. He logged on to Patron to once  
again wallow in his misery, only to find a nice surprise. One of his patrons had donated 1000 dollars. Greg couldn't believe it. Just who would be dum- no, kind enough to give him this amount of cash? he looked up who it was  
and found the username, " Silver fox." He thought to himself, " Just who is this person? according to the website they only became my patron last week. So why send me this much?" his mind kept asking questions he had no answers to.  
"well, I will just say my thanks, and enjoy the money." Greg said. After this, Greg and Silver fox continued chatting. Greg would tell this person about his troubles, and also about things like Repzion stalking him online, and many  
other youtubers bullying him on the platform. Silver fox became possibly the only friend Greg had. He ended up giving him his personal discord. Greg would use voice chat, but silver fox never did.  
For the first time in years he finally had found someone that cared about him. Someone that listened. He wanted to desperately to hear, and maybe even see this person.

Greg finally decided. He was going to ask Silver fox to reveal his identity. All he knew was that he was talking to a man. Greg was not gay, but even so he knew in his heart that he had some feelings for Silver fox. Whether these feelings  
were romantic or not, he didn't know. Once they both were online in discord, Greg said, " hey, I've been thinking. You know my face and name, but I still know pretty much nothing about you.We are friends, so I really want to at least  
see your face." Silver fox said nothing. Five minutes passed. Greg was beginning to lose all hope, when suddenly Silver fox began typing. He said, " I wonder if once you see me, you will still think we are friends." Greg was puzzled.  
What did he mean? why would he think any differently? he was about to speak when suddenly another message popped up, " If you truly want to see who i am, I will comply but we probably won't have this same relationship once you see  
who I am. Do you still want to know who I am?" Greg was feeling very uneasy.

Who could Silver Fox be ? why was he so sure that they wouldn't be friends once he saw his face? He yearned to know who Silver fox was, but at the same time  
he was afraid of losing what they had. He thought for what felt like an eternity, and then he said, " I really want to see your face. No matter what." Silver fox then said, " Okay." Greg was eagerly waiting for Silverfox's camera to come on.  
If everything went nicely, he was planning on telling Silver fox about his feelings, and if they felt the same, maybe they could try dating. He knew the man was not completely indifferent to him, since once Greg had sent him nudes by accident and the man didn't seem to mind. He had all these thoughts running through his mind. Then he heard a voice. "Gregory." This voice....  
it could only be one person. Greg opened his eyes only to find Chris Hansen looking at him through the screen.

To be continued......maybe


End file.
